Leaving Me
by FanficFinatic2
Summary: Karkat is mute and in a relationship with Dave. He tells Sollux only to find out Sollux is in love with him...has been for a long time. He doesn't know what to do because he hates hurting his best friend. What will come of this love? Will Karkat leave Dave for Sollux or Stay? Better than the summary. :) Side Genre: Hurt/Comfort
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: In this story Karkat is mute. The stuff in bold is sign language and the stuff in **_Italics _**is their thoughts and Stuff in ****_Bold/Italic _****is text messages. Just so you're not confused. Hope you enjoy this as much as we enjoyed writing it. :) **

**Disclaimer: We don't own Homestuck or it's Characters. All rights go to Andrew Hussie.**

**Karkat's POV**

I knocked on Sollux's door waiting patiently for him to answer.

I already knew he was home. I just hoped he wasn't busy. I kind of wanted to hang out and play some video games today.

I heard him groaned and get before he pulled open the door. "Who the fuc-oh hey KK. What's up?"

I smiled before signing **'Not much. Are you busy?'**

Sollux almost smacked himself. _Sign language right._**'Sure I'm not busy come right in.'**

I pushed past him going straight into the living room before sitting on the couch and turning to Sollux. **'Do you wanna play a video game? Or something else? I'm fine with anything'** I sign kicking off my shoes.

**'Sure what do to wanna play?'** Sollux signed leaning against the wall looking at me.

**'Doesn't matter. Either way I'll beat your ass' **I smirked. **'If you win I'll tell you something you don't know about one of our friends'**

Sollux raised his eyebrows. **'Okay you have my attention'** he said pulling out mortal combat.

I made myself comfortable on the couch as Sollux put in the game. I hoped I won or maybe I'd throw it so Sollux could win. I wanted to tell him but I wasn't sure.

Sollux sat next to me just as the character menu came up. **'Bring it' **He quickly chose his character.

I chose my character sticking my tongue out at Sollux signing quickly **'Prepare to lose'**

I could see Sollux focus intently on the game as it started.

As the game started I stuck my tongue out slightly as concentration mechanism. My eyes were glued to the screen. _Shit_ I mentally cursed. I was losing.

Sollux used one of his special moves winning in an instant. I threw my controller to the ground in frustration emitting a low growl that I could only hear. **'How'd you do that?'**

**'Dude its my game. I've played this game a million times. So tell me'** he said leaning back casually.

**'Okay so what would you think if I said that one of your friends is in a relationship with one of your other friends? I'm the only one who knows about it'**

**'Well I would think who and How the FUCK did they hide it?'** he signed while chuckling.

**'What if I said it was me?'** I signed looking straight at him.

I could kind of tell his smile was forced but I let it pass. **'I would say who? And con...congrats.'** his hands shook on the last word.

**'Dave'** I signed looking him over. I could see his hands shaking like he was restraining himself. **'Are you okay?'**

**'Yea I'm good. I'm fine. I'm happy for you'** he said deciding holding it in. He didn't sound sure and it made me feel bad. **'Sollux look. You don't have to pretend for my sake. If you don't like Dave just say so'**

**'No, no I like Dave. He's awesome. I'm not pretending anything' **he smiled.

I smiled back still not fully convinced but I would just let it go. **'Okay good because I was hoping we could all hang out. And go on like a double date type of thing...'**

**'Yea, yea sure. Sounds like fun'**

**'See I was thinking that you could go with um Eridan'**

I could see him literally freeze. **'Umm I'll have to check my schedule'** he signed then looked at me. **'But I'm sure ill be able to.'**

I beamed and hugged Sollux tightly before pulling away. **'Thanks. This means a fucking lot to me plus Eridan for some reason really wanted to fucking go with you so that will get him off my back. Is there anything I can do to thank you?'** I signed quickly and excitedly.

**'No. I'll do anything for you. You just need to ask.'** he signed tears threatening to spill over soon.

**'Dammit Sollux I'm offering to do anything and you're turning me down. You're such a fucking douche. Just know that this offer will never fucking come up again'** I signed letting out a puff of breath for dramatic effects.

**'There is nothing you can do for me.'** "Anymore" he whispered but I still caught it. **'It's okay. Seriously.'**

**'Fine be that way'** I stood. **'I gotta go I'm meeting up with Dave soon so I need to get home and change. It was fun hanging out.'**

**'Okay see you later'** he said standing glad Karkat didn't hear him.

Before I walked out the door I turned and signed at Sollux: **'Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I want you to Know I see right through you.'** before walking out the door. I heard what Sollux had said but I needed to hurry home. I didn't want to have Dave waiting and talking to Sollux would have just made me late.

When I got home I took a shower then threw on the red sweater Dave gave me along with a pair of black skinny jeans. While I waited for him I turned on the TV searching through the channels until I found a good RomCom. I ended up watching 'She's the man.' I set the remote down and splayed out on the couch getting comfortable while I waited for him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sollux's POV**

I winced when Karkat signed the poem. I was glad that he left when he did collapsing against the wall the moment the door closed.

I yanked at my hair, punching 4 holes in my walls. one in the living room, one by the front door, and two in the hall.

I went to my room and sat on my bed digging my nails into my wrists. _Shit that's going leave a mark._ It was bad because it was bleeding but I didn't care.

My phone suddenly vibrated in my pocket. I looked at my phone laughing slightly with tears streaming down my face.

'So sol are w-we datin' now-w?'

'Yea we're datiing' I typed my finger hesitating on the send button. I bit my lip and just sent it. "What am I gonna do?" I said to the empty room.

When Eridan received the reply he was overjoyed. He hadn't exactly expected him to say yes. He thought he liked Kar. 'Sweet so...did Kar tell you w-when w-we w-were doing this thing cause Idk'

'No he diidn't tell me anythiing. II'll ask him and let you know.'

'Okay cool' I typed a quick message to Karkat and pressed send.

I still hadn't received a reply from from him-and it had been a little over an hour-when I got another text from Eridan.

'Any newws yet?'

'No. Nothiing yet.' _What should i do?...that's just it i can't do anything. _

'Okay' He put his head in his hands sighing.

**Dave's POV**

I walked in to the apartment closing the door behind me. "Karkat? You here?" I said taking off my shoes and walking to the living room where I found him on the couch with the ending of a movie blasting from the TV.

Sometime during the movie he must have fallen asleep as he was now curled up on the couch...purring lightly in his sleep. It was something he had done since he was a baby and no one ever understood why. I always did love the noise it was cute and suited his name.

I chuckled sitting next to him petting his head. He stirred a little in his sleep his head rubbing more into my hand.

_He's so cute._ I thought kissing his cheek. His phone vibrated in his pocket but instead of answering he just buried his face into the couch bringing a smile to my face.

"Karcrab I think you have a message" I said laughing at his antics.

He lifted his hands and signed. **'Answer it for me'** before letting them drop back to his sides. He turned around and laid his head my lap.

I searched his pocket for his phone, quickly finding it I opened the message noticing it was from Sollux.

'Hey KK 2o when are we doiing thii2 double date?'

"Sollux wants to know when for the double date."

**'It doesn't matter. What about Friday?'** *he signed eyes still closed as he snuggled into me more.

"Sounds good Karkat." I said draping an arm around him and typing with the other.

**'Is there anything you wanted to do today?'** he signs at me.

I smirk. "Anything I do with you is perfect. Hehe. Anything you want to do?" I ask teasingly.

**'You're such a dipshit.'** He pauses.** 'Choose something otherwise we will spend the rest of this fucking day on this couch watching romcoms'** Karkat signed now looking up at me glaring. I roll my eyes and relent.

"Okay fine. Wanna go bowling?"

**'Yes yes and a thousands times yes'** Karkat absolutely loved bowling but pretty much all his friends hated it and he didn't want to go alone so he hadn't been in awhile. He grinned.

"Awesome. Lets go." I said as I dragged him out of the house. He didn't even have a chance to respond before we were out the door and in my car.

"To the bowling Alley" I yelled as we drove off.

**'You're like a little kid'** Karkat smiled shaking his head.

"I know. Its fun." I said smirking as we drove.

**Sollux's POV**

'How about Friiday Erii?' I typed slowly after looking at the message from Karkat.

'That's perfect. should i pick you up...or?'

'Yea 2ure. 2ound2 good to me.' I paced around my room unsure. "I don't think I can do this." I shook my head. "I have to. I have to for Karkat."

'Cool. Hey Sol are you alright?' I read the text confused for a moment as to how he would know but I just shook it off and replied.

'Yea Erii. ii'm fiine' _Well if I can't be with Karkat at least I actually do have a crush on Eridan so I'm not just using him. _

'Um are you bu2y liike riight now?' I typed out hoping he wasn't.

'No'

'Do you wanna do 2omethiing?'

'Sure like w-what?'

'II don't know. Anythiing you want' _I just want out of this house and my mind off of Karkat_

'Let's go bowwling. Is that okay?'

'Iit's perfect'

'Great. I'll come get you. Be there in 5' I could just see his smile as he typed that.

'2ee you 2oon.' I sent as I grabbed my phone, wallet, and keys. I left my aapartment sit out front and wait for Eridan. He arrived in only a few minutes.

I got into Eridans car as he pulled up. "Uh hey Eri" I said awkwardly. As soon as I got in the car and buckled up Eridan drove off. "Hey Sol" Eridan smiled.

I couldn't help but feel tension in the air. "You know...Nevermind" I cut off and looked out the window as we drove. I could tell Eridan didn't know what to say and most likely just felt awkward so he drove the rest of the way in silence. He parked, and got out. Him and I walked into the building still not uttering a word.

When we entered the building I realized I never did anything about the bleeding nail shaped marks on my wrists. I would just have to make sure my sleeves didn't slip up. "You know Eridan I'm glad were doing this." The words brought a smile to Eridans face.

"I am too Sol. I never thought in a million years you'd hang out w-with me." He replied as we grabbed our things making our way to the lane.

"I don't see why not." I said taking a seat.

"Now-w I hope you're good at bowwling because if not I'm seriously going to kick ass" Eridan said getting up and bowling his first one. He got a strike. I could see this was going to be hard. He took a seat as I took my turn getting a spare.

"Well I don't know if I'm gonna be able to beat you if you keep playing like that" I said as I took my seat next to him.

"Nah that one was just luck."

"Well you're still doing pretty well." I took my turn again making sure to keep my sleeves down.

"Ya I guess I am. You know-w you're not so bad yourself." He stood bowling again this time completely missing the spare.

I smiled bowling my frame. "I haven't been bowling in forever I'm rusty." I could tell Eridan was glad that I was opening up and actually talking to him because I never did.

"Well I guess you just need to get back in the swwing of things" he smiled before going again sitting back next to Sollux.

"Maybe you could help refresh my memory. I think my swing is off" I said.

"Of course." Eridan walked over to standing behind me. He grabbed both of my arms holding the ball and showed me how to swing my arm back so that the ball had enough force and speed to knock down the pins but not enough for it to go into the gutters.

He smiled sheepishly at me giving me a quick kiss before walking back to our seats.

"Its your turn." I said after recovering from my blush. I glanced over my shoulder at Eridan. He smiled at me taking his turn. I got a strike on my next one. I looked over to Eridan.

"You're a good teacher" I sat back down.

"Thanks maybe I'll have to do it again sometime."

"I may just take you up on that offer."

Eridan grinned. He liked where this was possibly headed.

I smiled at Eridan not noticing my sleeve sliding up. I took his my not noticing my sleeve was slipping up before it was too late and Eridan had already seen them.

"Hey Sol w-what happened to your arm?" He asked concern evident in his tone.

I pulled the sleeve down. "What? Nothing." He rolled his eyes at my failed attempt to play stupid.

"Sol I'm bein serious. W-what. happened. to. your. arm? I'm not gonna judge you or tell anyone but it seemed like you'd been sorta off today like you had somethin else on your mind and now-w i see this." He points to my arm.

I run a hand through my hair chuckling wryly. "I really need to cut my nails. I got upset and I accidentally used to much strength." I say looking down.

Eridan stares at me for a moment. "No w-worries but I think it'd be a good idea to clean them it doesn't look like you havve and i don't w-want you to get infected or somethin. Also next time you should take your anger or sadness out on somethin other than yourself." he smiled.

_Was that? No It couldn't be._ My attention was thrown when I thought I saw Karkat walk by us. I shook my head turning back to Eridan just glad he wasn't asking me what happened. "Thank you Eridan. Let's go." I said smiling.

Eridan grabbed my hand linking our fingers together heading towards the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Karkat's POV**

**'I didn't know you liked bowling'** I signed as we grabbed our things and went to our lane.

**'Are you kidding? I'm a pro at bowling. Besides its ironic.'** he signed as he waked to the door to hold it open for me. I rolled my eyes.

**'You say you're a pro at everything. I guess were about to find out.'** I walked through the door smiling.

**'You ready to get beat?**

I smirked playfully punching Daves arm. **'No are you?'**

**'Not even possible'** he signed chuckling.

**'I guess we'll see now won't we?' **

Dave got up bowling his first set. **'Not too shabby'** he signed walking back to me.

I took my turn next not doing as good as Dave but I still did pretty good...I think. I stomped back to him taking a seat with a scowl on my face.

Dave stood. **'Well you aren't as bad as I thought'** he nudged in a joking manner. I rolled my eyes smiling a little.

**'Of course not you fuckass. Now you just wait til I get warmed up then you'll be sorry you ever came'**

**'I'm so scared I'm shaking in my boots'** He smirked before bowling. He got a spare sitting next to me.

**'You should be'** I smirked getting a strike. When I sat back down I winked at Dave.

Dave stood and bowled his frame. When he came back over to me he paused looking like he heard something. "Hear that?" he questioned me. I replied with a shrug after taking my turn.

**'Hear what?'** I signed tilting my head to the side in confusion.

**'I think I hear Sollux and Eridan.'** he said taking his turn while he looked around.

**'Wait really? I don't see them or hear them'** I went but was distracted when I noticed them. I completely missed the pins. Stomping over to Dave I pointed. **'They're over there'**

Dave looked where I was pointing. "Well I'll be damned" He stared off at them reading their lips taking n their whole exchange from Eridan teaching Sollux right down to the kiss his mouth falling open in shock.

**'Dave take your turn' **I signed in front of his open mouth. He finally snapped out of it.

**'Oh right.'** He took his turn glancing over to Sollux and Eridan again. As soon as his turn is over he goes back to watching them.

**'Jeez took you long enough'** I say going. **'Why are you staring at them anyway?' **I sign slightly aggravated but he pays me no mind.

**Dave?'** I was starting to get upset. Here we were supposed to be on a date and Dave was staring off into space. The fuckass.

Dave recovered going. "It's your turn." I glared at him but took my turn anyway. Dave pulled me close when I came back.

"I'm sorry. Don't be mad." he said sincerely.

I hugged him and pulled away signing **'It's okay'** Sometimes I really wished I could talk. It would make things much easier. A tear fell down my face thinking about it. I quickly wiped it away and turned to face the other direction.

**'Karkat...are you okay?' **

I turned to smile at Dave. **'It's nothing. I'm fine.'**

"Your crying. It's not nothing. What's on your mind?"

**'It's just I...' **More tears fell down my face. **'I want to...'** I couldn't tell him-I just couldn't.

"Shoosh come on. Let's go."

I hung my head and followed Dave towards the exit passing Sollux on the way. I hoped he hadn't seen me.

**'Whats wrong?'** he signed as we walked out the door. I stopped in my tracks as we got outside breaking down completely into a sobbing mess.

**'I'm sorry. I'm such a fucking child.' **

**'No your not. Why would you say that?' **

**'Because I am. I just can't deal. Why can't I be normal?'** I signed just as Eridan and Sollux walked out. I didn't notice them until Sollux called out to me.

"Karkat?" I turned my tear streaked face to Sollux wiping furiously at my face but it was no use they just kept coming. **'Hey Sollux'**

Eridan looked at Dave and I he probably didn't even know we had been here. He looked at over to my crying self. I bet he was wondering if Dave had done something. I almost laughed at the thought. The only thing Dave could do to upset me would probably be breaking up with me.

"Not good timing Sollux." Dave said to Sollux turning back to me. "Karkat you can't help how you are."

Sollux let go of Eridans hand and looked at me concerned. **'Are you ok?'**

**'I just want to be fucking normal. Why can't I be like everyone else? Why can't I talk?' **I signed feeling pathetic for breaking down like this.

Eridan watched Sollux as his face turned into concern for his friend. Eridan didn't really know what to do so he just stood there awkwardly.

"Karkat..." Dave said sadly.

**'Karkat it doesn't matter that you cant talk. Your...fine the way you are' **Sollux signed frowning.

**'No I'm not. It does matter! It matters to me because I want to be normal'** I looked down too ashamed to look at anyone.

Eridan could only understand and do a little bit of sign language so I knew he was lost but he could probably understand what was going on. His next words proved that. "Kar it's okay. Everyone has somethin they don't like about themselves. Besides talkin isn't really anythin great. You're perfect the way you are." I just shook my head at him. I didn't believe him. Talking was better I was sure. If they were mute they'd understand.

**'Karkat vantas! You aren't normal! That you're right about but you're special! In every way shape and form! Even if you could talk you would still be special!...Now if you would excuse us these are probably going to get infected if we don't get home soon'** he signed at me angrily. At the end he grabbed his own wrist. He looked like he was in a lot of pain.

All I could do was stare at Sollux in shock. There was nothing left to say.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Here's the next chapter! Sorry it took so long to upload I've just been busy. Anyways I hope you enjoy.**_

* * *

**Sollux's POV**

Eridan watched the whole exchange only picking up on a few words now and again I could tell. He looked over at me clutching my wrist. "Sol are you okay?"

"I'm feeling a little woozy." _But its not from the cuts _"C...can you take me home?"

"Of course. Let's go." We made our way to the car and he opened the door for me before closing it and getting in. He drove.

"I'm sorry about that" I said the moment Eridan pulled off.

"You have no reason to be sorry. It's not your fault." He said glancing at me before facing the road again.

"Yea but I'm still sorry. I don't know what came over me." _Yes i do_

"It's fine really." *He pulled up to my place. "Do you w-want me to come in and help you with your cuts?"

I bit my lip. "No thanks I got it. I really had fun tonight. Thank you"

"Okay that's fine and no need to thank me. I had fun too." He smiled at me.

Just as I was about to get out of the car I kissed Eridan lightly. "See you later." I said getting out, walking into my apartment.

I got upstairs going straight to my bathroom. I grabbed the peroxide and poured it onto the cuts wincing at the sting before rubbing some soothing cream onto them. I wrapped it up next, when I was finished with that I put the things away. "That's good enough." Going into my bedroom I flopped onto the bed promptly falling asleep.

Eridan was happier than he'd ever been in awhile he never believed he had a chance with Sollux. He drove back to his place a smile on his face. As soon as he got home he laid on his bed and fell asleep truly exhausted from the days events.

**Karkat's POV**

Once Sollux and Eridan left I looked to Dave. **'Can you take me home?'** I signed before staring at the ground.

"Of course." he replied starting for the car. I followed after him not signing anything. I got into the car and buckled my seat belt turning to face the window I let my eyes fall shut sighing heavily.

Dave drove back silently. Not wanting to say anything to make it worse. _Maybe Karkat should be with Sollux...he knew how to make him feel better...I can't do that. I never know what to do when Karkat's upset._ He thought it over the whole way home.

All I could think about was Sollux. I could only think about how he had 'yelled' at me. Sollux had never done that before so I knew he had been serious. I didn't really want to admit it but I knew Sollux was right. I just couldn't help but feel like I didn't belong. The thing I wanted most was to talk to Sollux...even-even if I only said one word to him. He had always been there for me and I just wanted to say thanks with my mouth instead of my hands. I had always had these thoughts but now they were consuming me and I couldn't do anything about it. All these thoughts going through my head I fell asleep.

_Maybe they would be happy together._ Dave thought as he parked the car noticing Karkat was asleep. "Karkat? Wake up we're home"

I sat up wearily and yawned rubbing my eyes smiling sleepily at Dave. **'Thanks'** I stepped out of the car and headed into the house Dave following behind me still not uttering a word.

I was worried about him being so silent. He hadn't said a word since the bowling alley unless you counted him waking me up. I locked the door turning to him. **'Is something wrong? Usually you're really fucking talkative' **I signed concerned.

"Hmm?" **'Oh no yea I'm fine. Just lost in thought that's all.'** he signed smiling brightly at me.

**'If you say so'** I didn't really believe him but I wasn't going to push it and end up with him mad at me so I just left it alone.

I sat on the couch in the living room patting the spot next to me in invitation to Dave. He shuffled over to me taking a seat and stringing our fingers together. The action brought a small smile to my face.

I squeezed his hand resting my head on his shoulder. **'Sorry about my freak out.'**

**'It's okay'** _Should i ask him if hes happy with me? What should i do? _Dave thought as he chewed his bottom lip.

_He says that but does he mean it? Sometimes I feel like everyone just puts up with me because of my disability._ **'I ruined our day though' **I signed trying to get a reaction out of him.

**'No way. Like i said every day I spend with you is perfect.' **He ran a hand through my hair."You just had a hard day. I understand"

**'Thanks Dave.'** I smiled up at him. Hearing him say it made me happy. It seemed genuine so I wouldn't doubt him. _Now to Sollux. _Pulling out my phone I typed a quick message. _**ARE YOU MAD **_and send. I wrapped my free arm around Dave's waist getting closer to him. Dave laid his head atop mine. I could tel he was happy.

Sollux woke when his phone went off. He wiped at his eyes and grabbed it sighing he typed. _**No II'm not mad. Are you okay?**_

**'How...how do you...how do you feel about me?'** I signed to Dave not entirely sure if I should bring it up.

"What do you mean? I love you...how do you feel about me?" he asked nervously.

**'I love you too.'** I said clutching his shirt. Dave sighed in relief and I leaned up to kiss him just so I could reassure him. I pulled away with a smile before laying my head on his shoulder.

He ran his hand through my hair and I sighed happily before my phone went off.

_**YEA I'M FINE. ARE YOU?**_

_**Yea II'm fiine. II'm 2orry II kiinda fliipped out on you**_

Dave fell asleep soon enough and I chuckled. He got tired so easily.

_**NO IT'S FINE I DESERVED IT**_

_**No you diidn't. II took iit too far**_

_**YOU WERE JUST TELLING THE TRUTH. IT MAY NOT BE WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR BUT I KNOW IT'S TRUE. **_I sighed.

_**Well II could have 2aiid iit niicer.**_

I snuggled closer into Dave laying my head in his lap as he slept peacefully.

_**SOLLUX IT'S FINE SERIOUSLY.**_

_**Whatever you 2ay KK **_I could literally hear him saying the words in a sarcastic manner or angrily like he didn't believe me or he didn't want me to accept his words.

_**SOLLUX IS THERE SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT TELL ME?**_

_**N...no. What do you mean? **_The intentional pause in his words told me there was something he wasn't telling me even if he denied it.

_**IT'S JUST YOU SEEM OFF.**_

_**II'm 2ure II don't know what you mean. IIt'2 ju2t...**_

_**IT'S JUST WHAT? **_I was starting to get frustrated. I wished he would just tell me instead of being all secretive about it.

_**II...miight a2 well get iit off my che2t.**_ That caused me to arch an eyebrow.

_**GET WHAT OFF YOUR CHEST?**_

_**KK...II love you.**_

I stared at the screen of my phone in disbelief. I got off of Dave and went to the bedroom. I got on the bed burying my face in the blankets. I didn't know what to think. Somewhere deep down I knew I had sort of always known. It had basically been confirmed when I had told him about Dave which is why I told him that poem maybe it'd work again.

_**ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, SOMEWHERE DEEP DOWN I ALREADY KNEW **_I sent the message and eagerly waited for a reply.

_**Heh. You know II love how you do that?**_ Sollux replied not knowing what else to say.

_**REALLY WHY?**_ I sent the message and pondered over what to do about the confession. I knew I should probably keep it from Dave because I wasn't sure how he'd react.

_**You ju2t on the 2pot make up a rhyme u2ing the 2ame beginning word2. It'2 cool. **_

_**WELL I GUESS WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY IT'S PRETTY COOL**_

_**Anyway we're gettiing off topiic II gue22**_

_**RIGHT...UM I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY**_

_**IIt'2 OK. II know you don't feel the 2ame way. II'm fiine wiith iit. II ju2t wanted you to know. **_

_**SOLLUX I...IT'S JUST THAT I'M WITH DAVE**_ I felt really bad about rejecting him but I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't be with him and Dave. Plus I loved Dave and I loved Sollux just not in the same way.

_**II know. IIt'2 okay seriously. II...II gotta go. II'll talk to you later.**_

I cursed myself. Sollux was upset. I could tell and I knew it was all my fault. At this point I just wanted to scream but of course I couldn't. Instead I buried my face in the bed and punched it repeatedly

I could hear Dave get up probably noticing I wasn't there. "Karkat? Where are you?"

After a solid 5 minutes or so I stopped thrashing around and punching the bed. I turned over staring at the ceiling not even aware I was crying.

Dave knocked on the door. "Karkat are you okay?"

It's times like these when I wish I could talk because I have to actually leave the room in order to tell him that yes I'm fine.

I sigh getting up and opening the door. _**'Yes. I'm fine'**_

_**'You're crying'**_ he signed back. I touched my face. Upon feeling the tears I wiped them away biting my bottom lip and looking down.

_**'I'm fine. Really.'**_

"Karkat you can talk to me. Please I don't know what's going on with you lately." Dave said pleadingly. He just wanted to help I could tell but I wasn't sure he could.

Hearing him say it though made me feel really guilty. He was right I had been different lately. I always confided in Dave and now I just didn't. **'I know. I'm sorry'**

"Talk. To. Me. Please."

**'Dave I...'** I faltered I didn't know what to say-I didn't know what I could say.

Dave didn't know what else to do anymore. "Karkat. Just talk to me."

**'I..god I want to. I just I don't know how. I don't know what to do anymore'**

"About what? What's going on?"

**'I-Sollux he...' **

"What about sollux? What happened?"

**'He told me something. Now I'm sure he's upset and he might hate me. I don't know what to do. It's all my fault'** I looked up at Dave eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Well what did he tell you?" he said looking in my eyes.

**'He told me he loved me and I rejected him obviously because I'm with you'**

"He...you rejected him because of me? If you weren't with me would you have said yes?"

**'No that's not what I meant. I don't think I'd ever be able to return his feelings.' **I signed quickly not wanting him to get the wrong idea.

He hugged me. "It's fine. I'm sure everything will turn out just fine.

I shook my head. I didn't think it would be okay but there wasn't anything I could do to change that.

"Anything i can do to help?"

**'I don't think so. I don't even know what to do myself. Do you...do you think I should talk to him?'**

I think that would be a good idea.

**Really Short Sollux POV**

I put my phone in my pocket. "What have i done?" I said to myself as I left my apartment to go for a walk in the park.

I walked around the park. _I've just ruined my friendship. _I sighed finding bench to sit on. I held my head in my hands. "What am I gonna do?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Still Karkat's POV**

**'Should I do it in person or just text him? I need your help Dave'**

"In person would mean more."

**'Thanks. I'm gonna go talk to him now. I'll be back.'** I gave him a small kiss before leaving. I headed for Solluxs apartment which was only 10 minutes away. I made it in no time and knocked on the door. Within ten minutes there was still no answer and I got the feeling he was ignoring me. _Maybe he really does hate me after all._ _**'HEY SOLLUX WE NEED TO TALK. CAN YOU ANSWER THE DOOR PLEASE?' **_

_**II'm not home **_

_**WHERE ARE YOU? I'LL COME MEET YOU. **_I sighed. Of course he wouldn't be here I just had the worst luck.

Sighing Sollux typed out a reply. _**The park**_

I swiftly left the building not even bothering to reply. I was there in less than five minutes spotting Sollux right away I sat next to him. **'Hey'**

**'Hey' **he signed looking at me but not smiling. I felt my stomach twist into a knot at his blank expression. **'Sollux I'm sorry'**

**'I told you. It's fine'**

I sighed looking away I'd just have to do something else. **'Roses are red, violets are blue Sollux stop lying I know I'm hurting you'** I could feel the tears prick the back of my eyelids but I held them back.

Sollux smiled slightly then frowned again. **'It's fine. There's nothing you can do'**

**'I don't want you to be hurting because of me.'** I pulled him into a hug. I didn't know what else to do. He hugged me back then pulled away. "Karkat..."_ Shit. I need to not be so needy. _Sollux thought turning away. I turned him back to face me.

**'What is it?'** I signed biting my lip.

"Nothing" He said but I could tell he was lying. It wasn't nothing I knew him. It pained me bringing more tears to my eyes but I kept them back. I wanted him to be able to trust me. I had known him for years. Why couldn't he trust me? Right I broke his heart.

**'Sollux tell me! Stop acting like this! I thought we were supposed to be best friends. Does that mean anything to you? Why can't you rely on me?'**

Sollux stood up from the bench.  
"IF I DO AND SAY THE THINGS I WANT THEN WE WILL BOTH REGRET IT!" he shouted at me. I stared up at him in shock the tears finally flowing. I was losing my best friend and there wasn't anything I could do but watch as he got further and further away from me.

**'Look. I-I'm sorry I-I shouldn't have come'**

"Shit. I'm fucking up even more." he said tears running down his face.

**'I guess I'll just go'** I stood up and turned to walk back home. I couldn't bear to see Sollux cry and he hated me anyway. What was the point? Talking to him had only made things worse.

"I don't want you to leave but..." he said causing me to turn around. I watched him wipe away his tears.

**'This is all my fault. I always mess everything up. I need to leave before I mess things up more than they already are' **I signed tears still falling.

**'No I'm the one messing things up. I told you even though I knew it was a bad idea, I yelled at you... I'm sorry.'**

**'You don't need to be. It's fine. There's nothing wrong with telling people how you really feel besides now you don't have to carry that weight. I'm sorry for not being able to reciprocate.'**

**'You should get back to Dave. I'm sure he's worried.'** he signed then turned and walked away.

I just stood there. I was so conflicted. I wanted to run after Sollux and tell him it was all okay even though I knew it wasn't. There was so much I wanted to do so much but I just couldn't. In the end I just turned and walked home.

Getting there I pushed the door open and walked in before closing it and sliding down the door holding my head in my hands.

"How did it go?" Dave said sitting in front of me and pulling me into a hug.

**'Bad'** Just that one word couldn't describe it, it had been horrible. _I should have just let things be. Why did i have to fuck everything up?_

"I'm sorry. I'm sure you did all you could."

I tried to believe that I really had done all I could but it didn't help.

I pulled Dave close to me gripping his shirt tightly, burying my face in his chest as tears fell. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Confused with tears still falling I pulled it out.

_**Don't worry KK. You won't have to hurt becau2e of me anymore. **_I read the message over and over again before I finally responded not knowing what to think.

_**WHAT DO YOU MEAN? **_I was absolutely sure I had just lost my best friend.

_**Heh don't worry KK. II'm leaviing. **_I was pretty sure my heart had just stopped. My face went pale and my breathing shallow.

"Karkat? What's wrong?" Dave asked extremely concerned.

_**LEAVING? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?**_

**'Sollux is-he's he's leaving'**

"Karkat?"

My hands shook and I dropped the phone to the ground. This wasn't happening. It wasn't real. I tried to convince myself but I couldn't. **'It's my fault. Oh god it's my fault..' **I signed shakily.

Dave put his hands on my shoulders. "Karkat calm down. What's wrong what happened?"

I picked the phone up and with shaky fingers typed out _**Please don't go.**_

**'He's leaving. Sollux is-he's moving away and it's my fault. He's leaving he's leaving. Why did everything turn out like this?'** I signed looking up at Dave with a sad expression on my face.

"Oh my god. Karkat I...oh my god." he said. I could tell he didn't know how else to respond.

_**II'm 2orry KK. II'm leaviing. Now Eriidan'2 comiing wiith me.**_

I read over the text I felt like it was said just to hurt me...it worked. I felt like I was being torn in two. My heart was shattering. I was breaking into little pieces bit by bit.

_**WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME SOLLUX?**_

**'Eridan is going with him'** I signed half-halfheartedly. Dave just looks at the ground not saying a word.

I look up at him tears pouring from my eyes. **'D****ave. He's leaving me'**

**Sollux's POV**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sollux's POV**

"Why am I such a dick? I'm hurting him. Why can't i just..." I looked at my watch then ran home as fast as I could.

I packed a bag with all my things and went to the bus station. I would go somewhere else I decided as I bought my ticket and boarded the bus.

_**P22t Erii. II'm leaviing**_ I sent to Eridan once I settled in my seat. I got an instant reply.

_**Why are you leavin sol?'**_

_**II fucked up. But II wanna 2tart over. Wanna come wiith me?**_I smiled to myself hoping he'd say yes.

_**Be there soon**_

I smiled brightly at the text. _**Thank you Erii.**_

_**No problem. **_

Eridan got here quickly. When he took his seat next to me I smiled at him before looking at the message from Karkat.

"Hey Sol"

_**Hey II'm 2orry but II ju2t need to 2tart over.**_

"Hey Eri"

Eridan smiled. "So w-where are w-we headed?"

"California"

"Looking forward to it" he says just as the bus takes off.

I think I might be able to be happy now that Karkat is out of my life. I knew I could never have him especially with him being with Dave but I had to try. It didn't work out because I know he can't love me back. I also know that if I stay I'll only make things worse for him and for me. That's the reason I have to get out while I can.

I know he thinks he needs me but he has Dave now so he should be fine. I need to be without him. I'm hoping to start over with Eridan.

This should be fun.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Here it is the final chapter! I feel bad ending it like this...but depending on what you guys think I may continue this without the help of my other half...so let me know what you think. Enjoy reading! :)**_

* * *

**Karkat's POV**

"I know Karkat. I know and I'm sorry. You'll be fine without him though"

_No I won't._Dave may think I will but I know I won't because he's always been here with me. He's been the one to care for me. He's my best friend...at least that's what I thought until now.

I hate that I need someone to rely on. I hate that I can't talk to express myself. I just I hate everything, including myself. I guess life really isn't fair. It's never been not for me at least. I guess the only thing I really want is to be happy again. I just want my best friend back.

_**SOLLUX PLEASE...**_

_**II Can't anymore Kk. II ju2t can't do iit anymore...II'm 2o 2orry.**_

_**JUST COME BACK WE CAN TALK...I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOU LEAVING ME...**_

_**You'll be fiine be2iide2 II'm already gone. Thiis i2 the la2t tiime you'll hear from me so...II love you but II needed to get away. II'm 2orry. Bye Forever Karkat.**_

I dropped my phone to the floor face going pale. I couldn't handle all of this. I needed him. He was supposed to be my rock. He was supposed to be here for me at least that's what I thought but maybe it as me who pushed him away.

This is all my fault. He did this because of me because I can't return his feelings. It's always me. I cause everyone around me trouble. I push everyone away because I only consider my feelings and not the other persons. I'm just a selfish asshole. It's a wonder Sollux stayed with me for so long.

All I could do was stare at the ground unmoving, not really seeing anything at all. It was so painful. This time I had really lost him and there was no way to get him back and I was the one who pushed him to leave. I pushed him to do so many things and now karma has come back around and left me feeling lost and lonely without him.

Dave pulled me to him holding me in a tight hug while I cried into his chest. I could only feel the ache in my heart as I sat there holding on to him just as tight as he was holding me. I knew that if he wasn't here with me then I probably would be doing something I'd regret later.

The only thing I could do at this point would be to try and forget everything so that I could move on with my life. I would have to rely on Dave to help pull me out of the misery I'm drowning in.

I finally pulled away a little later. I wiped my tears, got up, walked to the couch and laid down closing my eyes. I needed to not think. I needed to sleep and maybe when I woke up this would all have been just a dream. Maybe when I wake up this wouldn't hurt so bad and I could move on.

"Sollux..." I whisper just as I fall asleep a single tear rolling down my cheek.

_I wish I didn't need you so much. I miss you..._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Upon request I'm continuing the story. I just couldn't end it like that anyway because it was just so sad. :( Anyway Sorry this is so short but I wanted to get it out. The next chapter will probably be up sometime today so watch for it! :) I hope you guys like this.**

**Read on...**

* * *

**Dave's POV**

It's been a few weeks since Sollux left with Eridan.

Karkat hasn't been taking it well, all he does is walk around the house looking like a zombie or like he's sick. I'm beginning to think he is sick because he hasn't eaten very much and he looks pale. I know I should help him but every time I try he just pushes me away, gets angry, or starts crying about Sollux.

I don't really know what to do anymore and I'm afraid if I leave him alone he'll do something terrible. I'm afraid for him because of the way he acted before versus now.

At night he sneaks out of the bed thinking I won't notice but I do. He does it every night and when he gets to the living room he breaks down crying and all he says over and over is Sollux's name. Ever since I first heard him say it it made me want to hurt Sollux because of how much he broke Karkat. It makes me want to grip Karkat tight and tell him that he's never coming back.

I want to do this because it breaks my heart that the only thing he says is the name of someone who left him all alone, someone who didn't care enough to stay, and someone who doesn't even bother to call to make sure he's okay. It hurts me because I'm supposed to help him and at this point I just can't. I can't do anything anymore.

I just wish he would be happy again. I wish we could go back to how it was before all this happened because all I really want is my Karkat back.

He ignores me most of the time and when he does acknowledge my presence it's only so he can cry on my shoulder or lay his head in my lap. He only wants me here to comfort him. I'm beginning to think he doesn't love me anymore. I'm starting to think maybe he loved Sollux after all and he just didn't realize it.

I don't like doubting him because I know he's going through a lot. I just wish he would talk to me and tell me how he's feeling because all I want is to help him get back on his feet. I want Karkat back and I know there's nothing I can do to help him.

I'm completely useless.


	9. Chapter 9

VERY IMPORTANT! A/N: I have the next chapter for this story but for some reason when I try to upload it it completely ruins the entire document and I have to fix it. When I do get it to upload it clumps everything together and it's pretty much unreadable. I'm so so sorry and I'll try to get the chapter up as soon as I can. Especially considering I haven't updated for almost a month. Sorry guys! :( 


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Okay so I'm hoping this works because if not I'm going to be seriously POED because this will be around the millionth time I've tried to upload this freaking chapter. Erg this website pisses me off sometimes. **_

_**I hope you all enjoy the story! I'll try updating more often but well you know how that goes. **_

_**Anyways enjoy!**_

**Karkat's POV**

It's only been a few weeks since he left but I feel like it's been years. I miss him so much but I can't do anything to change that fact because I know he won't ever talk to me again.

How I know this: One: He told me, Two: Ever since he left I've been trying to get a hold of him and he hasn't responded to any of my texts. I'll admit it hurts plenty to be rejected so many times by your supposed best-friend. It hurts because I know he gets them. I know that his number is still in service and he's just choosing to ignore me. It hurts a lot to be so blatantly rejected.

I'll admit that maybe the texts I left made me sound needy. Some of them held a lot of feeling though. Some just asking for him to come back and some just saying that I wanted to talk to him so that we could salvage what little we had left of our relationship.

The one voice-mail I left was just me whispering his name and I just wished he could've heard it in person because I was finally able to say something and it was one of the things I'd most wanted to say but he hadn't been here.

I knew it was all in vain however ever since the day he left I knew I wouldn't get him back.

I wish that he understood how much I was hurting. I wish he could feel the pain I was feeling because maybe then he would come back.

Maybe all I want is to hear his voice. I just want him back because without him I feel like nothing. I feel like my life just isn't worth living if he's not here.

I know that I have Dave but it's not the same as having a friend that you can actually count on. Someone you're supposed to go to when you have problems that you just can't talk about with your partner.

I want to talk to him...I really do. I just feel like if I do something will go wrong. I'm afraid I'll say something that I'll come to regret. It's the reason I basically avoid him unless I'm feeling really down in the dumps and I need someone to comfort me.

I wish I could do something more because I can tell that with the way I'm acting Dave might not stay much longer and then I'll be truly alone.

I need to fix things. I need to fix myself and I need to talk to Dave because I need him right now.

_I don't need Sollux. I don't need him. I don't, I don't, I don't. I don't need him. I need Dave. _I repeat this in my head over and over again until it's practically burned there.

I make my choice and get up out of the bed resolving to actually do something with my life today.

After I grab some jeans and one of Daves sweaters I make my way to the bathroom. After shutting and locking the door behind me I set my clothes on top of the sink and look myself over in the mirror. I cringe at the sight that greets me.

My face is pale, eyes bloodshot, cheekbones a little hollow, and my hair is just a total disaster that isn't even worth mentioning.

I undress and notice that I've gotten unbearably skinny. It's not enough to kill me just lost maybe 10 pounds but I know that if I don't start eating more it'll be worse.

I turn the shower to hot and step in when it heats. I sigh in contentment when the water hits my back because man does it feel amazing.

I didn't realize how sore I had been but the shower helped with that.

When I finished washing up and cleaning my hair I stayed in the shower just letting the water fall over me as I thought about everything that had happened.

I knew that no matter how I did things everything would've turned out the same but instead it'd be Dave leaving and Sollux staying. It was inevitable.

I knew nothing was all my fault even though I played a part in it I didn't make the ultimate decision. I also knew that I wouldn't let this bring me down anymore. I would get through this with Dave's help and when I was through Sollux wouldn't cross my mind anymore.

I nodded my head in a silent agreement to myself that I would do this as I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel.

Wrapping it around my waist I went to the mirror and started combing through my hair. It was an absolute nightmare but I pulled through and it ended up coming out a little less shaggy than normal. I was proud of myself for that small accomplishment.

I let the first smile in weeks appear on my face as I put my clothes on. Before I stepped out of the bathroom I grabbed my dirty clothes and tossed them in the hamper that resided in the hallway before making my way to the kitchen.

I open the cupboards and the fridge in search of something to eat. Only finding a box of Cap'n Crunch, some canned soup and a few veggies and fruits in them I sigh deciding to just order some pizza.

I make my way back to the room and grab my phone from the dresser taking a small look at the sleeping Dave and giving a small smile. He looks so cute when he sleeps. He has a soft smile on his face, his hair is all wild while he sleeps with an arm above his head and a leg sticking out of the blanket on the side.

I smirk take a pic then walk out of the room closing the door silently behind me. He's such a heavy sleeper sometimes.

Going to the living room I grab the remote and turn on one of my favorite romance movies('Ever After')that just so happens to be on TV right now.

I smile, turn the volume down a little, call the pizza place and order one large pizza with double pepperoni, pineapple, and bacon on it.

Once that's through I turn the volume back up and patiently wait for the person to show up. I get so immersed in the world of romance that I almost don't hear the doorbell ring for the fourth time since he got here.

Grabbing the money from my wallet I run to the door. I swing open the door only to be pushed out of the way as Dave pays for the pizza and closes the door on the guy just as soon as the box is in his hands.

I glare at him as he takes it to the living room, sets it on the coffee table and plops down, a fresh slice in his hand.

I cross my arms and take a seat next to him. He glances over at me and for a moment I swear he's examining me. It's like he's looking for something that isn't there. I falter under his gaze and turn away.

"So...what are you doing up Kitkat?" he breaks the silence and it's like an invisible command to not speak has been lifted.

**'I just...I decided that I-' **I take a deep breath in before exhaling and turning to face Dave. **'I decided that I needed to get over it. That I need to get over Sollux leaving me here.'** It still hurts to say his name but I know somehow I'll pull through, even if it's just an act I put up I need to do this for myself and for Dave.

He finishes off his slice of pizza before wiping his hands on his pajama bottoms.

"I know this is hard for you so just know I'll be here for you if you need me."

**'You don't need to remind me but to be completely honest with you...I probably don't even deserve your help getting through this.' **A look of confusion passes across Dave's features before he speaks again.

"What do you mean?"

**'Well I've basically been fucking ignoring you this entire time and only coming to you when I needed you. I know you don't think that's right especially if we're supposed to be together. What kind of boyfriend even does that kind of thing?' **I sign looking away almost afraid to see his reaction but before I can even blink he has me in his arms hugging me tight.

"The kind that's in pain and grieving. That's what I'm here for Karkat. I'm here to help you through the tough times. I'm here to be your support so it doesn't matter that you ignored me. I won't lie and say that it didn't hurt me when you ignored me. I won't even say that at times I didn't think about leaving or going to get revenge on him for doing this to you." He sighs and takes a deep breath before speaking again.

"I won't even tell you that the thought that you didn't love me anymore didn't cross my mind because it did. It did and when I thought about all these things it hurt me so much but I just couldn't leave you here alone like he did because I love you too much. I don't want you to doubt yourself because you can get through this and I'll help you. Even if after you're better you want me to leave I won't because I don't want to lose you when I feel like you're already slipping away now. I love you Karkat don't forget it." He pulls away from the hug and looks straight into my eyes as he says the last line.

I almost start crying at the thought of him ever leaving me and just at the sweetness and honesty of his words instead I kiss him directly on the lips. He's caught off guard for a moment but quickly reciprocates.

It's the first kiss we've shared in a while and it's absolutely amazing. It's sweet and loving but also needy at the same time. I can't help but to wrap my arms around his neck to pull him to me. His hand caresses my cheek and I melt against him allowing his tongue to slip into my mouth to which he easily gains dominance over me as our tongues embrace in a slow, sweet and sensual dance.

By the time we pull away from the kiss I'm gasping for breath. As my breathing steadies I smile at him.

He kisses my forehead lightly as I lay my head on his shoulder.

**'I love you Dave. Thanks.'**

"I love you too Karkitten. I would do anything for you just know that."

**'Anything?'**

"That's what I said isn't it?" He says smiling.

**'Can you delete his number from my phone? The messages too?'**

"Are you sure? I mean what if-"

**'What if he calls? He won't. He doesn't even answer my messages and it's not like I can talk on the phone anyway' **He laughs and it confuses me because I'm not sure what's funny.

"If you can say his name you can talk eventually" he said hugging me closer.

My eyes went wide. How had he known about that?

**'How did you know?'**

"I hear you every night. The first time I couldn't believe it and I was kind of hurt but then after that I guess it wasn't very hard to figure it out. You've known him for longer so it would figure his name would be first" He says and I look up at him and smile.

**'I can try...for you' **The smile he gives me is priceless and it makes me extremely happy to know I'm the cause of it.

"So does that mean you wanna go to speech therapy?"

**'Yes. I do' **


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: I'm so glad that I was finally able to get that last chapter up! I hope you guys like it and because I'm so happy I'm uploading the next chapter today so you guys get two chapters for the price of one. Anyway I really hope you enjoy this one. **_

**Karkat's POV**

After that day everything began to change for the better and over the next few months I slowly recovered from being hurt by Sollux. It was extremely hard for me because everything just reminded me of him. At first I couldn't cope but every time something would bring me back down in the dumps Dave would be there to pull me out. It was a process but the pieces of me that I lost when he left slowly came back. I won't say that I was fully recovered but I was better than before.

I started going to speech classes and eventually I could talk for the most part. Sometimes I would forget how to form certain words so I still went to therapy in the hope that eventually I'd be able to speak without any limitations. The first 3 months were really hard for me but I got through them with encouragement from Dave and after a year and a half I made it. The therapist told me that for someone like me that was amazing because for most people it took a lot longer.

Hearing her tell me that made me proud of myself and I couldn't help being overjoyed when I told Dave the news.

He helped me through everything and we became closer than we were even before everything with Sollux went down. I was happy and there wasn't anything that could change that because even though Sollux was the one who hurt me he also helped me to get through my difficulties speaking and the small issues Dave and I had.

Sollux helped even if he didn't know it so in a way I was glad that he left because if not I'd still be a burden to everyone else.

I didn't know if I'd ever talk to him again and if I was being honest with myself I didn't want to. When I began to talk I finally let him go saying goodbye to him forever and closed the door on a relationship that I had thought would last forever.

I wasn't sure what I'd do if he ever showed up in my life again and I wasn't sure if I was prepared to see him. It's why I had Dave. I felt that with him I'd be able to get through anything. He was my rock and the one who had helped me through my issues, some I didn't even know I had. He was there like no one else and it was one of the many reasons I loved him.

I was happy and nothing could change that.

Talking to Dave was amazing and I never would've thought it could be so great but it was and I was glad.

It was something I hadn't ever really gotten to do with anyone because of the speech impediment but now that I could actually talk I had plenty of fun. I felt like I actually belonged for once and it was the most amazing thing. It was like my world had been turned upside down and in a way it had. I had gone to hell and back and I was still here. I felt great and Dave made things so much better because I was able to share my happiness with him.

The whole thing with Sollux had been a great lesson for me. It taught me that even someone who has been with you for practically your entire life will leave you because people don't stay forever no matter how much you want them to. It taught me that I couldn't rely so much on others because ultimately when they leave or something happens no one will be left to pick up the broken pieces left behind except yourself.

My only true fear was that Dave would leave me and I knew it was sort of irrational but I kept it at the back of my mind so that if it did happen I'd be prepared. I wanted to be able to take care of myself so that if he left I wouldn't be like how I was when Sollux left. I didn't ever want that to happen so I kept the thought.

I loved him with all my heart but if he ever decided that he wanted to go or that he wanted to be with someone else I know that ultimately I would let him go because I didn't want to be the person that held him back from doing what he wanted to do. If I did that then we end up splitting anyway because we would lead more arguments. It's one of the reasons I realized that I shouldn't have held onto Sollux so much.

Our relationship was just at a point where it was time to let go even though I wasn't ready to. It would have been a bad idea to let him stay and even though we didn't exactly leave on good terms it would have been worse if he would have stayed so I let go and moved on even though I didn't want to.

Even though I sometimes still think of him and it hurts I've learned to not let it bother me. When I'm really down and the memories come flooding back Dave's there to help me and when he's not I just force myself to keep them at bay and not worry about so even though I'm not fully cured of him I feel that I made the right choice and the only thing left to do is live my life.

_**A/N: Did you like it? Are you mad that he learned to speak? Let me know. Also don't worry this is def not the end so don't worry. Until next time...:)**_


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